perception
fondly remember the first line of life of a monk which went like "i am not what i think i am. i am not what you think i am. i am what i think you think i am." this built my preliminary understanding of perception & how it will always be driven by subjectivity while there's barely anything you can, or rather, should do to change it
in the end of it all, we’re only humans, we care about what people would think of us, we’re all driven by the fundamental desire to be appreciated; we put our best foot forward to be perceived well, while it’s impossible (read: futile) to explain yourself to all, to impress all, to even try giving them all context of the why/what, which essentially = be ok being disliked
you can't expect them to get it because you don't get it either. we reduce people to one mistake, one action of their lives. we stereotype all the time. rightly or wrongly — we take mental shortcuts to conserve energy. use pattern interrupts when we're being negatively stereotyped. life is short. not fair.
all one-time criminals rot in jail for an act they committed once; a criminal could've been a philanthropist, good samaritan, a great husband or a great leader. the criminal knows it too, but he will be reduced to it for the rest of his life. replace criminal with any tag, and we realise that we've all done it to hundreds of people through our life - we've reduced them. how do we expect them to not do it to us, then? we judge, we label, we categorise because we can't think, and again, that's okay. the point is that we can't expect the world to get us. it's futile. all your efforts for the world to get who you are in vain.
all we need to know is that we can’t make their perception, into our identity. the second you believe them, you lose.